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Seasons of Change

This week has been full of change. I see the trees dropping their yellow and red leaves and the cold dewy grass each morning after a night of almost freezing. Change, while it can be transformative like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon, is quite uncomfortable. Whether the change is expected, unexpected, good or bad, it is always hard. 

As a therapist who specializes primarily in eating disorders and body image, I spend many of my sessions with clients practicing body acceptance and releasing control over the way we look. I must say, this is an extremely difficult endeavor for many. We humans are not built to accept the unknown… It wouldn’t be exactly the safest survival mechanism, would it? When recovering from disordered eating, it’s very common for our body to change because we are no longer manipulating it anymore to what we think it should be. So between learning how to trust your body and reaping the benefits of that trust, how do we stop being so uncomfortable? 

The short answer is: we don’t. 

I wish it were that simple. We live in a society that tells us to stop feeling and encourages quick solutions. However, this is not a process that can be avoided or rushed. There are some problems that truly don’t have solutions; or at the very least, not right now. We must learn to tolerate our discomfort for the sake of getting through some really tough changes. This can apply to anything; whether it be your body changing, the loss of a loved one, the start of a new job, etc. 

You’re allowed to be uncomfortable because of change. 

The good news is that the majority of this discomfort is likely based on the fact that it is new. Consider this… You have lived in a house for a very long time. You love this house, it’s quaint and decorated nicely. You get lots of compliments and you’ve invested a lot of time and energy in maintaining this house. Everything is organized and exactly where it should be. But there’s one problem, you’re starting to grow and you need a bigger home. So you decide to move, and you find a home that is bigger, more efficient and has more storage than your last home. Once the moving truck is gone and the boxes are loaded in, you immediately feel overwhelmed. There’s so much to unpack, organize and decorate. You miss the safety and familiarity of your old home. You find yourself wishing you never decided to take the leap. But day by day, you unpack… organize… decorate… until you find yourself enjoying your new home. You allow yourself to take up more space until one day you forget you even wanted to move back to your old home.

This is what it means to accept a new body. We must invest in giving ourselves compassion, grace and flexibility in the midst of change in order to cope with it. Invest in yourself and continue forward even in moments when you feel no sense of control. This is a process that is uncomfortable for anyone. This is normal. 

As the fall goes and the winter comes, the cold sinks in. We can’t avoid it, but we can build a nice fire, cozy up in a blanket, drink some tea and wait until the sun comes back out. The wait will be well worth it.